Life is interesting at times. The Lord is my constant, but some of the curve balls I'm thrown in this crazy world sometimes take me for a whirlwind and I'm not even sure what to think. As I was driving home tonight on Mopac I was thinking about something that has recently been driving me nuts. It's almost causing an ulcer (ok, I'm dramatic sometimes but you get the point). I've been worrying about it, and it's consumed my thoughts for the past couple of days. As I was driving it hit me that this situation is SO minimal on the scheme of my entire life. It shouldn't consume my thoughts the way it has. In reality this thing is something I wish I could just stop thinking about. No- I'm not worried that I'm currently homeless and still haven't found a place to live :) In fact, I have more peace in that than I ever thought possible.
In contemplating life I realized that sometimes I feel like I'm the only person seeing a situation in a certain way and I feel like I'm waving my hands in the air trying to get everyone else's attention but no one sees me. Does that make sense? Why do the things of this world make us worry so much? One of the things that I'm tired of is the American Dream. I'm sick of living amongst it, and I'm sick of seeing people live only for it. It makes my stomach hurt. It makes me want to throw up that I live in a world that pushes me to succeed, that pushes me to make more money, that pushes me to get a promotion, that tells me that I'm only normal if I'm married, etc. etc. This list could go on and on, but quite frankly I'm so over it that it's not even funny. I'm disappointed in how we value the things that Christ has provided in our lives in so much of a lesser light than we do the things of this world. It amazes me that people go above and beyond to congratulate someone who's just engaged, but doesn't recognize at all what the Lord has done in their life the past month or even year, but that this one event surpasses anything Christ could ever do. I just DON'T GET IT. I don't understand it at all. I'm not fascinated with the idea of getting married. I'm just not. It would be nice, but let's face it, it's not anywhere in the near future. I'm so sick of seeing my friends who aren't close to this feeling less of themselves because the only reason they feel this way is because of this world. We should find our value in Christ, not in a man/woman/husband/wife. No, I'm not bitter that I'm single. If the Lord calls me to a life of singleness so be it, if he calls me to be married someday so be it. I know that he has not completed my work as a single woman, and that's why I am where I am right now. That's it. I'm not less of a person because I'm not married and I'm sick of so many people throwing it in my face as if that were true because it's not.
I feel like the american dream has caused us to live a life of complacency. I feel like that's a life that breaks the heart of Christ too. I feel like it's so easy to blame why we strive for things on the fact that we live in America and quite frankly I'm really sick of that excuse. I'm sick of not being able to live out true community because of the busy american life. I just don't feel like Christ's dream for our lives was a dream of luxury, wealth, prosperity, etc. I believe that Christ called us hear to live out his dream of the nations knowing His name. I believe that He wants us to live our life as if He is coming back today! Why isn't His return the most significant future event in our life? Why don't we care? WHY? I just don't get it. I'm just so baffled.
This post isn't talking about anyone specific, it's more about a general trend I see among Americans, believers and non, and in some cases even talking about myself.
Through all of this the only thing I know to be true is that Christ is ruler of all. Christ's dream for my life is the only dream I want to live out. Are you with me?