Tuesday, June 9, 2009

New Seasons....

Random fact: I'm listening to Pandora, and the song that is playing is Chris Tomlin's "Here I am to Worship". That was the song that was playing that I remember of the night I got saved. The line that got me was "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross". And in that moment I wept and repented of my sins, and said Yes, Lord I need you, all of you in my life. That night I felt the Lord prescence for the first time in my life. Every time I hear this song I go back to that night in the July 2002, and I'm so thankful for what the Lord has done in the past seven years. Amen.

In other news, I feel like the Lord is about to bring so much change into my life. In my job and in my personal life. Job wise our schools are consolidating into one school. Many of my co-workers have lost their jobs, and everything will be SO SO different next year. Thankfully my job is secure (for the time being at least, fingers crossed). I dont even know what to make of all the things that will change. Two of my great friends have left to pursue other jobs, and I'm glad they get to get a fresh start somewhere new. For me, I still feel called to be there, and until I feel a direct pull otherwise I think I'll stay put.

As far as ministry goes, I will no longer be leading a small group. I stepped down from college leadership. I stepped down from my position in phi lamb serving as alumni council. I know some of you might be asking why I would step down and leave two things that I LOVE so much. And while both of those ministries are really really great, I felt the Lord leading me to let them go for the sake of proclaiming the gospel to those who do not know it, or maybe who have never heard it. I'd been feeling like some change needed to take place ever since I got back from Egypt, but I didn't know what it all meant. I just kept praying and knew that in His timing He would reveal where He wanted me to devote time to. A few weeks ago I was reading in Luke where Jesus called Levi,

"After that He went out and noticed a tax collector named Levi sitting in the tax booth, and He said to him, "Follow Me."And he left everything behind, and got up and began to follow Him. And Levi gave a big reception for Him in his house; and there was a great crowd of tax collectors and other people who were reclining at the table with them. The Pharisees and their scribes began grumbling at His disciples, saying, "Why do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?"And Jesus answered and said to them, "It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick."I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance." Luke 5:27-32

All of a sudden a thousand lights went flashing in my head, and I could hear bells and whistles. These verses made absolute sense to me.... FINALLY. For so long the Lord has allowed me to serve in ministry, whether it was on campus or at the Stone, and while I feel like He's really blessed those times, and created many opportunities for me to serve I realized that most of my time is spent with the "well" and not those who are "sick" or without Christ. While I was doing good things for His sake, I was not bringing the gospel to anyone who hadn't already heard it. I haven't been able to have a lot of non-Christian friends because my schedule is filled with ministry with other believers. So what does this all mean? I'm not even sure yet. But I know that God called me away from Phi Lamb and away from College Ministry to find out. The Lord took me to Egypt and showed me the urgency of the gospel. I'm praying that He would open the doors He wants me to step through for this next season of my life.

I truly want to live my life for the sake of His gospel, only. Period.

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